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Tuesday, 30 September 2008

I LOVE the way God speaks. We were in missionary prayer this morning which is amazing in itself. I love coming to pray with the older(more experienced not old) women of God who are prayer warriors!! I’ve learned so much just by being able to sit under their instruction and listen to them pray. I would encourage anyone to just surround themselves with people of your gender that are older and have that Godly wisdom that we so desperately need. I mean it’s spelled out in scripture that the older women are suppose to instruct the younger women. It’s meant so much to me that they’ve allowed a crazy college kid to come to their prayer meeting and just march towards the same goal with them.
Anyways…total tangent. I meant to go straight into what God spoke this morning and ran down a rabbit trail, oh well. So, now we’re off the rabbit trail and are back on topic…maybe. :) I was asking God if He had anything He wanted to show me this morning. I was asking Him to show me scripture I could pray. I heard Isaiah 25, which is really good. I read it and prayed some stuff out of it but then I got distracted by Is. 26:3-4 which states, “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.” I was like Dude that’s awesome so I was praying that out loud and I saw just like a very quick glimpse of those rock climbing things they have in malls, on playgrounds, and at fairs and stuff. You know the ones that are gray or black with the colorful hand and foot holds. They are so much fun to climb on. Then the verse that talks about how God’s ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts came to mind. Then I got smart and started putting it all together. That God is an everlasting rock, His ways are higher than our ways, and rock climbing. Maybe we’re supposed to be climbing higher and higher towards God. Since His ways are higher, let’s climb there. Knowing that if you’re really rock climbing you have rope around your waist. The safety precautions would be the Holy Spirit leading us and guiding us on our journey towards God!!
I’m not able to convey here in words how awesome it was when God dropped it in my spirit, but maybe this makes a little sense.

Sunday, 08 June 2008

contradictions

I was in my car driving to Auburn and I was talking to myself, cause that’s what I do in my car, I talk to myself. But as I was sitting there thinking, it suddenly hit me that I am a walking contradiction. Those of you that know me are like yep, why’d it take you this long to figure it out. I’ve always been that kid, as long as I can remember, that wanted the world to rainbows and sunshines. I never wanted to hear about dark stuff and tragedies, and when I did it broke my heart. My heart would break for the person whose world was collapsing. I had a close person to me the other day tell me that I was tender. I had just heard about this tragedy and it tore me up and I came to her and we were crying out to God for the person. Except for I was really actually crying.
I’m a walking contradiction cause I want so badly to believe that the world is rainbows and sunshines, but I’ve never walked that life. I’ve had tragedy after tragedy in my life but yet for some reason I still want to hold on to the hope that life is rainbows and sunshines forgetting about all the bad in my life. Jesus came to give us a life more abundantly can’t that include rainbows and sunshines? On Earth as it is in Heaven, any rainbows there? I hope so…

Sunday, 18 May 2008

Extravagance

Extravagance (unrestrained or fantastic excess). What a GREAT word!! Extravagance was the word that hit me during worship this morning. I was at mom's church and they were singing a song a entitled "Let the Worshippers Arise." It gives me chills just thinking about it. Well, we were singing the song, and I did what it was asking. I arose and worshipped God. I was sandwiched between two church pews so there wasn't much moving going on, but I was aware that my little bit of movement was quite a lot more movement then the others were doing if you catch my dirft. Which, hey there's nothing wrong with that, praise God anyway you wanna praise Him, even if it's just by moving your big toe it's all good. I kept hearing a nagging voice in the back of my mind saying that this was extravagance and I oughta be shamed. I was distracting these people from worshipping God. So I thought ok. God if you want me to stand still and worship you I certainly can. Cause it's about Your glory, not mine, but then the line in that Casting Crowns song came to mind. "Your love is extravagant!!" His love was so extravagant that it sent Him to a cross to die for my sins. If He could be extravangant for me I could and would certainly be extravagant for Him!!
Later, I was pondering on this concept of extravangance and I realized that I hadn't been living an extravagant life for Him. Actually, this past week, I think my life's been more dark than light. I've been away from Auburn, and my walk with Chirst is kinda dependent on others, which takes a lot for me to admit that, but that's another post... maybe... There's this other song we sing at the Tabernacle, which says, "I wanna live a life that's worthy of Your calling, remove the things that hinder me from loving You becasue I don't want regret upon the day I stand before You. May I be found a pure and spotless bride." That's the cry of heart, but man you've gotta live an extravagant life towards Chirst to be there. Living a life of unrestrained excess toward Christ. WOW!! How would a life like that even look? How different would my life be if I lived like that? How different would the world be if people lived like that? Isn't that what Matt 6:33 calls us to do? Seek FIRST the Kingdom of God and everything else will be added!! Extravagantly seek the Kingdom of God...how different would be the world be if people actually did that? How different would Auburn be if I actually did that? How soon would my dad get saved if I actually lived that? Father, help me to walk this out. I don't want to talk about it and that be all that's ever done. Please, don't let this be a one time alter call and two months later I'm back at the same alter promising this all over again. I'm sick of living that life. Please, let sink in. Help me to sow this into the Spirit. Jesus, I plead Your blood over this. Help me to live extravagantly for You and Your Kingdom!!

Thursday, 17 April 2008

There will be dust on your feet from your many travels!!

Ever since my junior year of high school, I've wanted to be a missionary. I was talking to my old youth pastor and he unknowingly planted the seed in my heart. At that point I knew I wanted to be a missionary and teach children over seas. How amazing would it be to teach kids not only how to read and write, but to share with them the love of Jesus Christ? When people asked me what my future held in store for me I was very careful not to talk about my heart’s desire of being a missionary. I was afraid that if I put too much hope in that dream it would never come true. So I tucked it carefully away. When I finally did start telling people that what I really wanted to do was be on the mission field, I was always cautious to say that I’m not sure if I’ve called myself to this or if it’s a God thing. I didn’t want to have my heart broken if I was merely calling myself to this. Different people starting telling me things like “Awww…Amanda, your flesh doesn’t want to be uncomfortable. Being a missionary would make your flesh uncomfortable,” and “God gives you the desires of your heart, if it’s in there it’s of God.” That last one always made me giggle. Cause I knew/know the deep dark places of my heart and I can tell ya truthfully that most of that junk ain’t from God. I was scared to put my trust into something that could be snatched away at any moment. I’ve had my heart broken…more than once… and didn’t want this desire to be a missionary to break my heart if it didn’t pan out. So I left this desire carefully tucked away in the back of mind. Knowing that there had been some pretty pointed signs that this was the road that God wanted to lead me down. The fact that our church is a church/mission head quarters, that we’ve been told time and time again that Auburn is a breeding ground for missionaries, and that both of my parents (even my unsaved dad) had given me their blessing for this lifestyle, but that wasn’t enough. I wanted to know that I know that I know that this was God’s calling on my life, so I left it tucked ever so gently in the back of my mind.
            We had been praying for the Call Alabama, for what seemed liked forever. God was gracious to release visions and scripture for the Call. One the main things that I had been praying was that God would let this been the day when everything changed. That people would come to the Call and have such an amazing and anointed time with God. That they would be able to look back and say that was day that my life was changed forever. It’s amazing how God answers prayers. The Call was absolutely magnificent. So much happened and is still happening because of it. There were roots in my life of bitterness, hurt, and anger that God shed light on that day and since they’ve been removed. But, He spoke to me on that day and I’ll never be the same. To go back to the old ways aren’t good enough anymore. It’s like a drug addict. Once they reach that high, to reach it again they have to more and more of the drug. The same amount won’t do it again they have to have more than they did the first time. The same amount of God, won’t do it anymore. I’ve gotta have more.
            We were having a time of prayer where the moms and dads were going around and they were praying for the kids/young adults in the room. This one lady came up to me and starting praying. There were a lot of great things that she prayed over me, but the one that stuck out and it was like God was saying “hello, stupid!!” Well, He wouldn’t call me stupid cause I’d cry. He talks very loving and sweet to me. Cause I’d cry if He didn’t. But this lady was praying over me and she was like “There will be dust on your feet from your many travels…” And I started crying. It was like God was saying “Baby, it’s okay to trust in this cause it’s of me. When you trust in this your trusting in me, and baby, I’ll never let down.”
            So, now when people ask me what the future holds. I tell them “I’d really like to be on the mission field.” I no longer say if it’s God will. I just say that I’m not sure when His timing on the matter will be. I don’t know if it will be right out of college or if I’ll be older, but this is His plan for me, and I don’t want a Plan B. I’m happy with His Plan A.

Sunday, 13 January 2008

yay...highschool plays

So, I went home this weekend and found this box of stuff (yeah, I’m a pack rat!!) from my senior year. There was a bunch of stuff in there, but I ran across this play that I wrote most of at a youth conference. It was quite funny. Oh this youth retreat we were broken up into three groups and told we had to come up with a play to perform. I was with a bunch of guys that really didn’t care so I was the main one that worked on it, but it’s kinda cool. I bet you’ll never be able to guess who played the ditzy blonde!! LOL!!

So it’s a Christian Jeopardy game… here we go.

Announcer: Now ladies and gentlemen the host of Christian Jeopardy…Alex Stone.
                                                *APPALUSE*
Zeke: Aww…man. I didn’t realize this was a Christian game show. *crosses arms* We better still be playing for money.
Alex: Good evening. We have three great contestants tonight. John Kingsman, *applause* Zeke Black, *applause* and Wendi…wait there’s no last name here.
            Wendi: Yeah, I’m just Wendi. Wendi with an I. *smacking gum and twirling her hair with her finger*
            Alex: *makes a confused face* Wendi with an I. *applause* Now, I’m sure each of you know how to play. *each nod* But let’s refresh our memories. You will be asked a question and you have to answer with “What is” and then your answer. Now does everyone understand? *applause* Great. Let’s get started. Wendi, you have the first question. Are you ready?
            Wendi: Like, I hope so.
            Alex: Alright, it is written in the first book of the Holy Bible, “in the beginning; God created the heavens and this…”
            Wendi: *thinks while smacking her gum* Ummm…what is bubblegum?
            Alex: uhhh…judges?
            Judge: Sorry, Wendi, but the correct answer is the earth.
            Wendi: *sighs* Like, I totally knew that, but I got this new flavor of bubblegum and it rocks. Wanna try? *Pulls a strand of gum out of her mouth*
            Alex: Umm…no thanks. John your question. The follow excerpt is found in the word of God here: “Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil.”
            John: What is “The Lord is My Shepard.”
            Alex: Judges.
            Judge: Yes, we’ll accept it, but we were actually looking for Psalm 23.
            John: YES!!
            Alex: Zeke, your question. In Chapter 3 verse 16 of what book in the Bible is it written that, “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish but have ever lasting life?”
            Zeke: What is John?
            Alex: Correct. The score is John 100, Zeke 100, and I’m sorry Wendi, but you’re still at zero. We’re on to a commercial break and then the exciting final jeopardy.
            Announcer: And you’re off the air.
                                All is quiet in the contestant panel.
Wendi: *addressing Zeke* Like, why are you all in black?
            Zeke: Cause I like it.
            Wendi: That’s kinda really depressing, but ya want me to tell ya something that not?
            Zeke: No, not really.
            Wendi: *clasps her hands together in a pleading attempt* PLEASE!!
            Zeke: *rolls eyes and sighs* Ok. Fine.
            Wendi: Yay. I have a Father who loves everyone. Even me. And I’m not exactly the shiniest toothpick in the box.
            Zeke: *very confused* What?!?!
            Wendi: My Father, God, He…
            Zeke: *throws his hands in the air* I don’t wanna hear any of that God, man.
            John: It’s not just stuff, Zeke. God loves everyone, even an ex druggie like myself. I never thought anything would be better than a cocaine high, but God’s love is.
            Zeke: Better than a crack high?
            John: Way better.
            Zeke: Tell me more.
            John: God sent His only Son Jesus to die for my sins, your sins, even Wendi’s sins. God is amazing. He wants nothing more than for you to accept Him and live eternally with Him in Heaven. It’s a whole lot better than the alternative.
            Zeke: What’s that?
            Wendi: Hell: a place worse than a small, hot elevator full of big, fat, sweaty people that haven’t worn deodorant in ages.
            John: Believe it or not, she’s right. Hell is a place of damnation of all eternity.
            Zeke: How do I not go there?
            John: All you have to do is pray and ask Jesus to come into your heart. You must confess that you’re a sinner and need Jesus.
            Announcer: Back to the show in 5...4…3…2…1…*points to Alex*
            Alex: And we’re back. Time for final jeopardy. The question: “How can you be sure of that you will spend eternity in Heaven?”
            Announcer: *hums the jeopardy theme through twice while the contestants pretend to write.*
            Alex: Zeke, you answer first. How can you be sure that you will spend eternity in Heaven?
            Zeke: Like this. *smiles as he kneels down* Dear Jesus. I’ve never talked to you before, but I want you to come into my life. I know that you love me, even though I’m a sinner. Please forgive me. Amen.